Behaviors in Marriage

Marriage is something that is bound to have its ups and downs. It wasn’t something that is meant to be all sunshine the whole entire time. Every person is different which means that every marriage is going to be different also. John Gottman explained that the ratio of positive to negative actions and/or words is a marriage needs to be at least 5:1 in order for a marriage to be able to function the way it should. When something negative is said or done it does a lot more damage than something nice, which is why a lot of nice things need to be done in order to “makeup” for what the person did. Negativity is a natural part of life, which means that it would only make sense that it is a natural part of marriage. If it wasn’t this way then how would you we know the good times from the bad? Everything has an opposite to it. One piece of advice that my mom gave me about getting married as I am preparing to do so is to make sure you get in a fight with your significant other before you get married. Many people may think that that’s a weird thing to do, in fact I was talking to my roommate about it and I think she thought it was a crazy idea, but the reasons behind it make more sense. My mom explained to me that the reason you want to get in an argument/conflict at some point before you get married is to see how well you guys are able to resolve the issue. Problems are bound to arise in any marriage at some point or another, but its all about how tyou handle and resolve them that makes the difference.