Contract Marriage vs. Covenant Marriage

This week I have been thinking a lot about marriage and the difference between a civil marriage and a temple marriage as I have been trying to prepare more for my own marriage. All the time I was growing up I was taught that a temple marriage is the kind of marriage that you want, but I never really understood why. In all honesty, for a long time I thought it was the only place you could get married, but I also always saw marriage as a contract. As I was reading s talk by Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the seventy titled “Covenant Marriage” it really hit me how we can make our marriage into a contract or a covenant and what the difference really is. When someone sees a marriage as a contract, they see marriage as something that should make them happy, and if their spouse doesn’t keep their end of the contract to make them happy, then they can leave. When someone sees marriage as a covenant, however, they want to work on things together. When rough times arise, they work together to overcome them and draw closer to the Lord. He also said at one point in his talk that, “Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.”

As I have moved out on my own and have started to really become my own person, I have come to realize just important a covenant temple marriage is to me. I have watched friends and family members that have gone into contract marriages and it has helped me realize even more how important a true covenant marriage is to me.

Definition of Marriage

In all honesty, whenever the topic of marriage equality or same-sex marriage is brought up to me I usually try to avoid it. I am not one to put anyone down in any way or make them feel wrong, but I know my views are not always the same as theirs. I believe in what the church teaches and supports, that marriage should be between a man and a women. I think that many people today think that just because they love someone that they should marry them. I don’t agree with this. While I believe that you should marry someone that you love, you need to remember the reason behind marriage, to create a family. Marriage is about creating a family, and I believe that both a mother and a father are needed to do so. This topic has been one that my sister and I disagree on, but when I have had conversations with her about it, we have been able to share each of our points of view and learn different perspectives from one another, but still be able to stand up for what we truly believe in. I know this is a topic that will be an ongoing one for quite a while longer and one quote from a general authority that has really stuck out to me through it all talks about not judging others because they sin differently than you. I think when it all comes down to it, that's what we need to remember to do.


Here is President Uchtdorf's talk where he talks about not judging others, because we sin differently: https://www.lds.org/youth/video/stop-judging-others?lang=eng

What is Beyond Divorce

Who would have thought that one of the first things that you talk about in a marriage class you be divorce? Divorce has been something that has been a part of my life a lot this past year. I have had to watch as one of my family members got divorced and a close friend of mine get divorced also. I definitely has made me a lot more aware of what can happen to a marriage if its foundation isn’t stable and enough time and effort isn’t put into it. Even when the divorce was something that was necessary for the person’s well-being, it was still very hard on them. One of the things that really hit me hard was watching the videos for the class that I’m taking is when it talked about what the kids of divorced parents go through. When one of my family members got a divorce my niece was very young, but you could still see that it was affecting her in a not so great way. I remember that there was one day when she was dropped off at my parents’ house and she was screaming for her mom before she had even walked out the door. Before they had gotten divorced she had never had any sort of separation anxiety (that I’m aware of). It really made me realize at that moment that divorce doesn’t just affect the parents, it affects everyone involved. It has also been something that has been on my mind as I am preparing to get married. I never want to put anyone through the pain that divorce brings, but especially not to my future children. Even though it was difficult to watch the people that I love and care about go through that, it opened up my eyes a ton! Marriage is something that is very important to me and is something that I am thankful that I have a different view than a lot of people in the world do today! Marriage isn’t just all about love, it involves so much more.